Archive for The Framework

Book Excerpt “How Did You Learn To Blame?”

What You Resist Persists

One of the immutable laws of the universe is that you get more of whatever you focus on or give energy to. If you think hard about how you don’t want to be victimized, you can actually attract victim experiences into your life!

Your brain or belief system doesn’t hear or register the negative words like “don’t”. Try telling yourself, Don’t think of a red car.” An image of a red car will flash in your mind. So, by saying, “I don’t want any more victim experiences,” you are actually giving victim experiences energy and you will attract more of them into your life.

Notice what you are resisting. This is the foundation of becoming more conscious in your life. (NOTE: If you have not read Law of Attraction by Michael Losier, I highly recommend it as one of the clearest and simplest explanations of how what you resist persists works.)


Societies Are Based on Victimization
Society teaches us to be victimized. We have been taught that deciding who is responsible is essential, and that, whatever goes wrong, there is someone some-where to blame and even to sue. Our whole legal system is founded on this concept.
I challenge you to watch or listen to one complete newscast and not hear directly or indirectly that some-one or something is to blame for the woes described. There is a talk radio host in Calgary who regularly asks his woe-of-the-day guest, “Who is to blame for your problem?” or, even better, “Who can we blame?” In-variably, the Victim has a long list. To be fair, this same host also asks what can be done to fix the problem. However, usually much more time and energy is spent on directing blame than on resolving the issues.


Our society has become skilled in establishing blame (victimization), often from the moment of conception:

  • She didn’t take her pills.
  • The condom broke.
  • I couldn’t interrupt the mood.
  • She trapped me.

And, all too often, it continues from there. In fact, one could argue that blame and victimization have sur-rounded us virtually from the beginning of history.


Genesis 3:11
And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day; and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden. And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, “Where art thou?” And he said, “I heard Thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.” And He said, “Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou should not eat?


This direct questioning by the Lord appears to have made our first parents very uneasy. Adam could have offered any number of reasons or excuses why he took the fruit. He could have said, Gee, the sun was in my eyes, so I couldn’t see what I was eating Or possibly a modern-day Adam would offer this justification: Sure I took a bite, but I didn’t swallow.


What would I expect Adam to say to this man who walked and talked with God, someone who held the honored position of being the first human on earth? I wish he had said, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. I will never do it again.”


Instead, listen to Adam’s immediate response, “The woman thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree. Adam is rationalizing his sinful behavior, trying to shift the responsibility to his wife, Eve. At this point, Eve has an opportunity to be a better human than Adam. However, her response to the same questioning is, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. Pretty lame. The ten-dency of mortals to deny Personal Accountability seems to be evident from the very beginning.


Here is an interesting example of modern-day learning to blame. Close friends of ours have three kids. The middle child, Luke, is full of piss and vinegar like most boys. Luke loves skateboarding and gets a skate-board at the ripe old age of three. His Mom, however, is not quite as keen about the skateboard, because she is concerned that Luke will hurt himself. So she sits him down and talks to him about the dangers of skateboarding, reviews all of the safety equipment, and makes him promise to be careful. All is good up to this point. Then the inevitable happens. Luke has a dirty wipeout and scrapes up his face. He doesn’t cry and doesn’t run to tell his Mom because he knows that she will be even less willing to let him continue skateboarding. But Mom has witnessed the wipeout. Later that day, Mom asks Luke what happened to his face. His answer floors her.


To cover up his skateboarding drama, Luke decides that it is better to say that his older sister hit him! He has grown up in an honest and accountable house-hold, yet, at age three, he has already figured out that blaming someone else for his mishaps can provide him with a payoff and a protection. In this case, it did not work, but it does often enough in general, and he was sure willing to try.


Activity Learning to Blame
How did you learn to blame? What is your earliest recollection of blaming someone else? Were there any specific people or events that set up your patterns of blame? To learn more about Personal Accountability visit:

Our New Family Pic!

I have not been posting much as of late because our summer has been totally nuts. In June I stepped back into Personal Best on a full time ++ basis, in July our new little man came home Jaxson Levi Fiset and in August Cory’s dad Joe went into the hospital and passed away on Sept 4th. Here is the new family pic. I will be back to regular posts shortly.

Wyatt Catching Air!

On our last trip to Blackfoot, Wyatt has demonstrated that he makes quantum improvements every time he is on his bike.  Aunty Lynn and G’ma were there so he has some fans!

I am so impressed with his abilities, next spring I will get a bike as well so we can go riding together, it will be a blast.

Finding a Childs Gift, Dirt Biking

He LOVES riding!

I firmly believe that one of the most important jobs of a parent is to help their child discover what their gifts are.  The following is a video of My son Wyatt (only 4 years old) finding one of his gifts I believe.

The video is a bit long, I edited it for Wyatt, but check it out, I was amazed at his ability.  This is only his 3rd time on the bike WOW!!

Clearly we will be doing more of this.

I am a very proud Dad  : )

A Great Example of Specialization

I am having some work done on my old 240Z a car I restored about a decade ago virtually everything on this car has been rebuilt or replaced With one exception the carbs.  The reason that the carbs were not done is that they are dual side draft twin SU carbs, it takes a combination of artist/heart surgeon to set them up properly and almost no mechanic wants to take on the job of rebuilding them.  They are simply a complex pain in the ass!

So my 240 starts running very rough and as everything else is new or rebuilt it comes down to the carbs. The first quote on the carb rebuild is $1500, that is a fair chunk of $$ for a car that when brand new sold for only slightly more that and being rebuilt by a mechanic that has not done one in years.  So I do an bit of home work and find

This company only does carbs like these on obscure old sports cars and does an exceptional job! (for about  1/2 the money!)

What I love about this business is that they have carved out a niche…a valuable niche, they know exactly who their avatar is and they provide a solution that frankly is cheap!! Particularly is you have ever had an incompetent mechanic “set up” the carbs.  In general you pay 3 hours for them to be set up and then 4 hours for them to be fixed by someone who knows.  The bill usually about $700, the same amount as they charge for new carbs and a guarantee that it will take no longer than an hour or so to set the carbs up properly!!

It is a great example of knowing your market, delivering great value and I for one cannot wait to get the new carbs installed and the car running like it did when it left the factory.

I will keep you posted.