Archive for My Best Selling Book

Do The Work, It Is Worth It!

Some great thoughts about my best selling book “Reframe Your Blame, How To Be Personally Accountable”

Check it out!

If you are interested in the Insight into Leadership program you can check it out here.

Cutting Edge Consciousness

Here is a radio interview I did with fellow ATL members (Association of Transformational Leaders) Barnet Bain and Freeman Micheals who have an outstanding radio program called “Cutting Edge Consciousness”.

We are discussing what is on the other side of blame.

If you are interested in getting a free digital version of my book be sure to opt in on the right hand side. My bestselling book “Reframe Your Blame, How To Be Personally Accountable” is included in the first lesson of the “Intro to the Creator’s Code” so opt in and enjoy!

Is Your Coach Holding You Accountable? Really?

Coach Marketing Phrases:

“I will hold you accountable”
“I will make you accountable”
“I am your accountability partner”

These phrases are RAMPANT in the coaching industry, and for the most part statements like this are a farce.

Yes a farce, there I said it, I know I have likely wrankled and tweaked a number of “accountability coaches” reading this. Good!

There is a powerful distinction between helping people keep their agreements with themselves and one another and “personal accountability” this distinction can not only transform your life and business but improve the value and depth of your coaching in a monumental way.

Please take a couple of minutes watch this video and share your comments and reactions.

For more distinctions and support being personally accountable. Check out my best selling book “Reframe Your Blame, How to be Personally Accountable”

Buy Kindle format

Buy Hard copy format

And if you are in Alberta this weekend The Accountability Intensive is in Edmonton, regarded among grads as one of the most significant transformative experiences of their lives.

Email: lance@creatorscode.com or call 1-877-806-2378

Are YOU Tired of KNOWING But Not DOING?

Are you Tired of KNOWING but not DOING?

I know, I know this can be a touchy subject, it is touchy because of the truth of the statement. We ALL have knowledge that we are not applying and integrating into our lives. Welcome to the human race : )

I want to share a statement that an old friend and business partner once said to me that I was not to thrilled to hear at the time. “To know and not to do, is not quite yet to know” it may not be grammatically correct (english was his second language) however precisely how he said it struck a deep resonant chord with me.

This phrase has always surfaced for me when my brain want to quickly say “I know that!” and is quickly followed with if that is true am I living my life in alignment with the concept or tool? If not, I clearly do not know it. If I AM applying the concept or tool then ask the follow up question, “What is the next step of application and integration of this in my life”

Clearly this is often much easier said than done, but here is a tool that can help.

Based on results.

If we are willing to step outside of our intellectual knowledge and awareness, and simply HONESTLY look at the REAL RESULTS in our life right this second, it will tell you with 100% accuracy and clarity what you actually KNOW.

I realize that this is not always fun, it is not always uplifting, but is is always accurate and always honest, more importantly it gives you a real place to start to create the results you desire and deserve in your life.

For more information and support to translate what you intellectually understand into real tangible results in your life check out:

http://www.personalbestseminars.com/TruthRevealedJV-Fall2011/index-static.html

Asking Directly For What You Want

I never cease to be amazed at the power and simplicity of asking DIRECTLY for what I want.  It is a quantum accelerator, a powerful communication and relationship building tool, and it is a skill that we can all improve upon.

Here is a brief excerpt from my book “Reframe Your Blame, How to be Personally Accountable”

Excerpt starts:

Think of all the things that you have done in your life to gain recognition. Another word for recognition is love (or a reasonable facsimile thereof). You’ve made sacrifices for loved ones, sometimes just going along and pretending you agree, all to make sure you are not judged or rejected. Human beings do wild and wacky things to be recognized, to fit in, to be loved and accepted. The truth is, it rarely works in the way that we would like it to.
Recognition Payoff Remedy: It’s so simple and yet nearly impossible for many people. Simply ask directly for what you want.
“I beg your pardon,” you say. “If it were that easy, I would already be doing that. I remember times in my life when I asked directly and I did not get what I asked for.” I understand that, and of course you’re right—at least from your perspective. That’s why you created the devious routines you have to get the love and recogni- tion that you need.
Let’s elaborate on the deep and complex idea of asking directly for what you want. Sometimes, we’re afraid that if we describe what we truly want and ask for it, we are giving power to those who want to hurt or thwart us. However, consider the logic of not asking, but hoping that someone in your life will catch the hints, intuit your deepest desires (which they should, of course, if they truly care about you), and then behave as you desire. This is nothing more than preplanning and preparing to be victimized by the people from whom you want love and recognition.

Here are some guidelines for successfully asking.

•  Ask directly and honestly for what you want.

• Ask someone who has the capacity to give youwhat you are asking for. Asking a starving man to give you food is unproductive. Asking someone incapable of a committed relationship to provide eternal fidelity and devotion is a recipe for disaster.
• Ask, knowing that it is the other person’s choice to give to you or not. They have every right to say “no.” That doesn’t in any way dismiss or diminish your desire or need. Develop a support network broad enough that you have more than three people to ask.
But suppose you have co-created your relationships in such a way that asking for what you want directly would be nothing more than a setup for the other person to exert power over you by saying “no.” Then start by renegotiating the ground rules of your relationships before asking. Some relationships descend into a spite war, an arena where each resents the other for not supplying what is needed, so they punish each other by withholding what the other wants. If this has happened, negotiate a truce and a new agreement about how you will interact with one another. Your objective: If either of us asks directly for what we want, and the other is physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually able to provide it, they will. If they can’t, they will explain why and offer support for fulfilling this need in another way.

To summarize: If one of your payoffs is recognition (and it is if you are human), ask directly for what you want, ask someone who has the capacity to give it to you, and remember to ask with no strings attached.

They have every right to say “no,” and you have every right to have your needs fulfilled.

Excerpt ends.

So what must you ask for today and whom must you ask? It is often significantly more difficult than it first appears.  If you would like support this is a process that we create agreement to and structure for in primary relationships in our Couples Weekends and Retreats, if you would like more information please check them out.

Jay