Archive for Life and Random Thoughts

Birthday Musings & Memories

9 years ago today Cory and I went and celebrated my Mom’s birthday and quietly sat without telling anyone that we “MAY” have a match in our adoption process.

We were hopeful but cautious…so many of the processes do not end with a successful adoption.  So we were quiet, optimistic and scared.

After Mom’s party Cory and I decided to tell Mom and my sister Lynn about our potential match.  After a long and heartfelt talk we decided we just needed a bit more health information and we were ready to commit on our end.

NOTE: Our adoption is an open adoption which means that the birth family and the adoptive family “choose” one another and negotiate contact and how the relationship will look in the future.

We were told that Heather (our birth Mom) would be induced on Nov 1st so we had a week or so to get ready.  To be clear a week is NOT enough : ) The next morning, Oct 24th we have a conversation with the adoption agency and with Heather about our health concerns and we knew we had a match.  YIKES!

So 1 week to prepare…

The next morning, Oct 25th we were in our weekly staff meeting and I get a call from the agency, I was expecting a call for paperwork or some other details but the voice simply says “Congratulations your son was born this morning.”

I am overwhelmed and find myself in tears…of joy. I tell Cory and the staff meeting quickly ends.

All I want to do is go to the hospital and get my son.

However there is a 24 hour waiting period…to provide the space for the birth Mom/family to change their mind about their adoption plan and just spend time with the baby.

That, my friends is a LONG 24 hours, waiting to see if she changes her mind…on the other hand 24 hours is no where near long enough to get ready to bring home a baby!  Bassinetes, bottles, diapers, soothers, clothes, blankets all alien to both Cory and I, thank God for dear friends Glenn & Lisa and Susan & Hugh. I will be eternally grateful to all of you.

The next morning was one of the most beautiful and heart wrenching days of my life.  Imagine the joy of adding an amazing little soul to your family but at the same time being present and witnessing the pain, sadness and loss of the birth mother.  For over an hour Heather hands Wyatt to Cory, bursts into tears and Cory hands him back and bursts into tears…I watch shoot video and cry, tears of joy and empathy.  All the while I just want to hold my boy but doing my best to just make space for this miraculous process unfolding before my eyes. Wyatt sleeps through all of this never opening his eyes, even when he was being fed. Heather, your courage and clarity in making an adoption plan for “OUR” little man will remain one of the greatest gifts I have ever received.  Thank you is no where near adequate.

IMG_1243Finally, Cory walks over to me and places the little man in  my arms…and I start talking to him welcoming him to the world and our family.  Instantly he opens his eyes and looks at me…actually peers to and what felt like through my soul.  I instantly knew that he was meant to be my son, that he just came to our family in an unusual route.  That day is emblazoned upon my being.

Here we are, Wyatt nine years old this Saturday, your arrival changed our lives in so many ways for the better.  I cannot describe the joy, pride and love I have for you.

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Happy birthday my son. The next 9 years will fly by (even faster I suspect) and you will be off to university or some other epic adventure. Your Mom and I will do our best to support and prepare you for whatever that is.

In the meantime lets keep having fun playing swords, street hockey and whatever else you want to do. PLEASE try not to hurt me with your slap shot, and above all keep making space for the most important thing in life – family (immediate, extended and birth).

I love you with all my heart and am proud to be your Dad, I know you will grow up to be an amazing man.

Love Dad

 

 

Where Does Time Go?

So I know it has been awhile since I posted, I have been busy creating like mad!

We (Cory the boys and I) are in Vancouver on our summer family holidays and having a fantastic time.  It has been far too long since we have hung out at the beach as a family!

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It is has been a trip of milestones, Jaxson has mastered his 2 wheel bike, he road 8 KM all around the outside of Stanley Park!  He is still only 3!  In his words “I am a totally AWESOME bike rider!”

We went to the Capilano Suspension Bridge and Wyatt who was a bit wigged out at first totally overcame

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his fear, even going on the tree top adventure on his own a couple of times!

Both the boys have been mastering scooter tricks.

Cory and I have been feeling very nostalgic, walking around our old community in Yale Town, we both

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miss living here in the summer.  The winter not so much!

In the midst of all this I am working on my first “Mini Online Launch” for the “Launch Your Mastermind 90 Day Bootcamp” which has been a huge learning experience.  Which I am loving!

Anyway I wish that you and yours are having as great a time as we are.  I definitely appreciate summer more after a long cold winter!

There is much more to update you all on but later ; ) Jay

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This video speaks to one of the drives that I have been witnessing in the classrooms at The Creator’s Code.  If this resonates with you and you want support in creating REAL CONNECTIONS in real time.  Check out our complimentary Creation Acceleration Coaching Sessions.

The Innovation of Loneliness from Shimi Cohen on Vimeo.

I Blew It…Again!!

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I make mistakes,,,,
I make a lot of mistakes….
I may well make more mistakes than anyone I know…
In fact in a discussion with a friend and Creator’s Code Team member we were discussing my willingness to make mistakes and after talking awhile he said something like this “I want to give you a compliment, you are totally the most successful failure I know!” and we both burst out laughing and I responded with a heart felt thank you.
I am USUALLY quite fine with my mistakes, I GENERALLY do not get to worked up about my mistakes.
But not this time.
Why?
Because I got attached, I wanted to be right, I KNEW IN MY BONES it could work and damn it I was going to prove it!
Does this sound vaguely familiar to you?
Maybe it can work, maybe it just needs tweaking and adjusting but the most important thing is the honest and truthful assessment that AS IT IS, it is not working right now.
Let me give you a few details and this will make more sense.
One of the Creations that I have been MOST PROUD of in my life is the business model I designed a couple of years ago for Creation Circle Leaders.  Which in short is a way for coaches  to step up to a group coaching model using The Creator’s Code content and business systems and the KEY IDEA was that Creation Circle Leaders and Creation Circle Members who get fundamentally free seats into “The Gift” would give their free tickets away, generate referrals and fill The Gift with great ease and joy!
In concept it sounds simple and common sense enough, and in practice it did work…a bit but only a fraction of what I had hoped for and an even smaller fraction of what was possible.
All of which would have been fine IF and it is an exceptionally big

IF

I had not stopped doing all of what we were doing before that worked so well.
I was so sure that this was THE WAY, that I left what was working, and even worse because I was attached I did not correct the mistake for far too long!  Instead i compensated by working more, taking on more personal clients, traveling more to deliver courses that in terms of numbers were not to the standard that I had previously declared, and I tried to cut costs instead of increase value…
The cost has been far to high, it has taken a toll on my health, time with kids, finances, inconsistent date nights with my amazing wife Cory, missing details because I got too busy.
Can you relate, have you ever gotten stuck in a whirlwind of compensation for something that you were attached to that was not working?  Job, relationship, friendships, agreements and obligations that no longer serve you?  It happens to us all, I would wager that right now in your life there is something that is not working something that is unsustainable yet you are burning time, energy, money and resources to keep it in your life.
Well the great news is this, consistent with pillar 3 of The Creator’s Code “I support Sustainability and vote consistently with all my resources” I am not just acknowledging my mistake, I am making a commitment to getting back to what has always supported our community and The Creator’s Code the most, and that is one on one coaching, one on one attention and VALUE!
What we are doing is offering FREE Creation Acceleration Coaching Sessions, yes free, yes one on one. I want to give one of these outstanding sessions to YOU!
Please understand that there are limited spots based on time and number of coaches and we must do this around our very packed program delivery schedule.  So ACT FAST!
Note: You may have already seen the email that lance sent offering the first 10 free sessions, well those  were filled in a few minutes after he sent the email. So we are going to set up another round…I believe this will go as fast as the others so apply FAST!
So
What will you get out of a Creation Acceleration Session?
In short MOVEMENT, MOMENTUM and COMMITMENT!
You will be HEARD, you will get unstuck, you will BEND TIME, You will Commit to yourself and what is most important for you to create.
So let my lesson from my most significant mistake in a long time be the launch pad for you to let go of what is not working, redirect your energy and CREATE a new chapter in your life!
Learning with you.
I am off to go skiing with the family…see how fast a shift can occur : )
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Is It Possible Our Society is Addicted to Wealth?

pillar03postcardGiven that the Creator’s Code is focusing on Pillar 3 “I Support Sustainability” I was totally fascinated when attending the latest meeting of The Association of Transformational Leaders SoCal, a young man named Sam Polk began to speak.

Sam is an unassuming man with an astounding story.  Humble beginnings, family drama and a POWERFUL desire as a young man to buy his happiness.  We all know how that turns out, but few of us have the courage (or opportunity) to literally walk away from millions!

Take 5 minutes to read his op-ed  article in the NY Times.  It is a powerful message of what drives us to attempt to live in unsustainable ways and Sam is a exemplary role model of what we can do about it!

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